"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." ~ W. Edwards Deming
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Thursday, May 19, 2005
Having a totally Marvin day; must be karma cuz yesterday was way to awesome. DID NOT see Star Wars, but we had the best concert of my life last night - I wouldn't trade it for the world. My feet went numb and I didn't know the music that well but everythign just clicked and by the end I was almost completely cured of my stage frightness (WOOT!).
AH but today.... spent ALL day (that was at school and around those other than Allen and Chase)listening to Star Wars critques and WOW conversations... I really want to kill that game. It's all my friends talk about now and I hate feeling left out and I will NOT take up a new addictions just to be able to talk about it with them. They have all afternoon when I'm not there to talk about it - and if they feel that they should exclude me just cuz I now have a boyfriend and spend my time hangning on him (well I do that cuz my friends don't include me so I have nothing else to do!).... I spend a great deal of time with him outside of school, I almost never get to hae real conversations with my friends and that is starting to piss me off I try to separate myself from Chase only to find that there's no room for me in the discussion or that it's not something I can chime in on and learn about without pissing ppl off with silly questions or sounding dumb (if I even decided I wanted to learn and chime in!).
Now for the Star Wars rant. Nope didn't see it was planning on trying for some tim ein the near future... now doesn't look so good. I'm beginning to hate that movie simply trhough association. All I heard today was how good it was and ... yeah I'm self-centered I guess. No one cared to ask or even remember about my concert last night. No one bothered to change topics when they knew I didn't know what they were talking about. All I felt from ppl was "you made a dumb choice by not sacraficing sleep after your hugely draining concert to go see Star Wars".
If you guys who read this hate me - fine... s'not like I've felt a part of the group that much lately, and I have made attempts to be.
Could just be the fact that today is Thursday though; never got the hang of Thursdays - and all that forcing yourself to do what's right stuff, never got close to liking that shit either.
Current mood:  rejected
Friday, May 13, 2005
Really fitting although I would switch Agnoticism and Paganism in my mind. Funny how Christianity came in last - must have to do with my lingering disillusion. Ah well.
 | You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.
Paganism | | 75% | agnosticism | | 71% | Buddhism | | 71% | atheism | | 63% | Islam | | 58% | Judaism | | 50% | Satanism | | 50% | Hinduism | | 46% | Christianity | | 29% | </td>
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com |
Everything's still going great with me and Chase, which is awesome and since it's been a while since my last update(and a lot has gone on) I thought I'd take this spare moment during my TA period to do a small one.
Euro trip was fun if a lot overwhelming. I plan to go back someday to get a better feel for it and appreciate what I see better. I have some pretty good pics though that ppl should ask me about if they want to see them.
School's good; going to UCI and loving every minute of the pre-college warm up. I'm meeting a lot of the other CHP kids, which is a blast.
It always surprises me how closed minded I and a lot of other people are about somethings. I guess first impressions really do die hard, and the worse it was the longer it takes to change even if you want to. Don't ask where that came from I just happened to be thinking while typing - go figure.
Prom is coming up and all the craziness that goes with it has me a bit frazzled, but at least I know how I'm getting there and have my clothes all picked out. Where we're all going to eat if we all eat together is still a mystery.
AP tests are finally over!!!! Thank God. I took 5 this year and was so blah and over them by the end that I'll be surprised if I pass the Gov and Econ ones. I feel really confident about the Physics C test though and I KNOW I passed the Calc BC test with flying colors.
Well STAR testing is upon us at LCC so that means that the other seniors and I have late starts for the next 4 days (we're already 2 days in). Woot! No school till 10am!!! Oh well, I still wake up around 7 or 8 anyways, even though I don't have to - damn body clock.
This has been extremely long for me so I'm going to stop ... I think; it's not like I have anything better to do with my time 'cept read Catch 22 (which I have to have finished by Monday and I still have about 300 pages to read and annotate!!! ARGGH). I think I'll go read then.
Byes ya'll!
~Jessica
Current mood: alive Current music: the hum of the school library
Thursday, March 31, 2005
I'm not sure right now as I am sadly emotional but I'm considering closing this(and possibly my MySpace) and forcing people to talk to me. I don't bite, even though I know most of you don't believe/care. I know some of you are also pissed at me and I just don't want to deal with it. Sorta a horrible way to send me to Europe don't ya think: not wanting to come home...
Current mood:  depressed
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
1. Comment with your name, and I will reply with something I really like about you.
2. I will then tell what song(s) remind me of you.
3. Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
4. Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. Put this in your journal.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
5:21PM
Well over the course of two weeks I successfully ran myself into the ground... Stupid! I havne't take a "just me" day in 2+ weeks and yesterday my mind and body rebelled full force. By 7 pm (while I'm at friends birthday party with Chase - about a half hour from MY house, let alone chase's) I developed a very mild yet persistent headache and that progressed into some mild nausea, and by the end I had a wonderful migrane... the only cure of which was about 14 hours of sleep and another 4 of NWN. I'm sorry that I ended the night on such a horrible note. Chase had to tuck me into bed when i got home cuz there was no way I was fit to drive him home so an hour after we got to my place his dad picked him up.
Oh well, no changing that now... I just need to make sure that I have more "me" time in a week so that this doesn't happen again. well I'm off to read for Econ... I'm so fucking behind in that class and I have the unit test tomorrow so... yeah work!
TTYL!
~Jess
Current mood: missing ppl Current music: Tuesday Morning ~ Michelle Branch
Sunday, March 6, 2005
So I've had a wonderful day (that makes 3 in row). I forget if I posted it already (I think not) but Chase and I are officially dating, and god do I love that guy. He's too good to me. I've never known someone who found everything I do that beautiful but aparently it is to him - and I've never known someone could be so happy just to be near me or talk to me, but he is. God I'm so lucky!!
Yesterday was pretty much just as awesome. Chasse and i wre texting back and forth a bit and I got to go check out the gorgeous UCI campus. They have an awesome campus, I'd love it there I think, cuz it's not too large but it's not some tiny back-water college. It's not too urban but close enough that I can enjoy the urban/city benefits without the everyday pains. I'm most definately considering (seriously) going there (the scholarship ain't bad either ;) ).
Friday was the best over all though. The afternoon was full of fun and that's when Chase asked me out. God was I riding high all night afterwards. Can't say I saw every minute of Constantine either... but that's another story in itself ;). Getting the two underage ones into the movie was an adventure in itself but fortunaely Ben and Dave are good sports and helped that out (HA! San Marcos can't keep us out!)
On other notes (if my sappiness hasnt' driven y'all away yet)... the Fafsa ppl can't read and screwed my SS# up so I get to do paperwork to fix that and an evil Ford Pickup hit me so there's more paperwork and phonecalls... bleh!
well this is a long post for me so g'night y'all.
*hugs*
Current mood:  calm Current music: 3 Dorrs Down
Saturday, March 5, 2005
10:26PM
I'm too tired to write much but I thought a short update in order. The last few days have been crazy - but all in good ways. The only dark spot since school let out was some idiot driving a FORD PICKUP (those are the only things attracted to whatever I drive) rolled back into me in the left turn pocket of San Marcos Blvd and Rancho Santa Fe. Other than that, I'm officially off the "single" list and got to check out UCI's BEAUTIFUL campus today (seriously ocnsidering going there - the only sad thing is they have no football team and therefore no band for me to be a goupie of).
I'm falling asleep at my keyboard now so I think I'll cut it out now... if any of y'all wanna know more mssg me - or leave a comment. ;)
Current mood:  loved
Wednesday, March 2, 2005
2:25PM
Well here I am in Econ... just doing a quick update cuz I haven't in moneths. I promise to do more later, but for now we're putting the cows away so this will be short. Life's been good but busy (as always). i got into UCLA's engineering school and UCI has given me a "free" ride (they're paying all Tuition fees). GTG type more later.
Sunday, January 9, 2005
Well, I dont' post much do I? hehe, nope not often enough at all. Well Dave's surprise b-day party that we threw after DnD on sat went pretty good. It was great to get to just hang out with everyone, and watch movies till midnight, etc. Dave wasn't as ... "stunned" i guess is how it's put - as we hoped but he was surpirsed and didn't have any idea we were planning it so that's good.
We watched Troy on Sat and I'm surprised. I had thought that it's only redeaming value was Brad Pitt in next to nothing (and that is a good point) but the story was amazing - didn't fit the original completely but I love the changes. It was "Romeo & JUliet Squared" as Allen said but I still loved it.
Well, for once I didn't have a ton of homework for Sunday either. So it's been a good weekend. A few rough spots with ppl's personalities/quirks but over all definately a good weekend. I'm ahead about a week in math homework and the reading for english was WAY easy so today's goodness just built upon sat's to make me actually rested for a rough next 2 weeks.
I have the Physics final on Tues but I'm pretty confidant about it... got a 4 on the last practice AP test so that's good (considering the final will be an AP test). I also have about another 8 hours (at least)of tutoring scheduled for the next 2 weeks .. which is blah but money so that's good.
Other than all that there really isn't much going on in my life... sorta winding up on the Winter formal craziness - since I'm organizing the group trip again - but life's better than it was this time last year.
Hugs to all!
~Jessica
P.S. - RAIN RULES!!!! (I loved the down pours from today!)
Current mood:  content Current music: I Don't Want to Miss a Thing ~ Aerosmith
Tuesday, January 4, 2005
9:31PM
ok... grumpy
the icon shows everywhere but on the journal itself... there may be some drastic changes in the future to fix that... it's too late to mess it up right now tho.
Current mood:  confused
9:28PM
BEST ICON IN THE WORLD!!!!!
ok wwell... maybe not THE best... but up there. Just a friendly little "I'm still breathing goddamnit" post to check the icon and take the temp of the world...
How are you feeling, world? Ah... not too feverish I see....
Current mood:  silly Current music: Nickleback
Monday, January 3, 2005
So break's over in... *checks clock, does some math*... 11 hours and 15 minutes... so sad.
Been fussing over my recital today. It went pretty well... I froze during some of the piano songs but they were pretty advanced for someone who's only been playing for 4 months. I sang well but I've done better. I HATE my stage fright. Wish it would up and die!
Got to finish a few math problems but I'm really not motivated.
I hope to go to Winter Formal but haven't gotten an answer yet from the person I asked (go figure - I wrote the invitation in code *facepalm*).
Well hopefully this cristens the new journal fairly thoroughly.
'Night all and a happy new year.
Current mood:  thoughtful Current music: my new Avril cd (Under My Skin)
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Well, I've basically got this where I want it for now. I'd like to be able to change the title font and a few other things (I HATE Arial font) but this is good for now. Kinda tired... might go attack a few computer games after this, but whatever I do it's been a way productive day (the exhausting kind-but in a good way). The longer updates will come soon.
Current mood: accomplished Current music: Won't Say I'm in Love (from the movie Hercules)
3:11PM
Just decided it's time for anew journal so today is dedicated to making it look the way I want it too. I'll do a real update and explain why the change later.
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